Wednesday, January 14, 2015
6


Regular readers here will know that I have 2 children, both born right here in Oman. I'm a lucky guy, but 2 kids for me is plenty - I don't want any more and I made my own personal decision to ensure as best that I can that I won't have any more kids.

So I got a vasectomy.

Which I have learned is not something many men here do. I get it, but each to their own. I'm not Omani, will never be Omani and will eventually have to leave Oman. Kids are expensive, and as I'm finding out, a lot of work. 2, for me, is plenty. It's funny because a lot of guys I have talked about this with are shocked I decided to do it, others think I'm in some way less of a man than I was, and yet others are very interested in the procedure because their wives have been nagging at them.

This post is for those guys that are interested, and their wives too. It's a personal decision and I'm not advocating or selling the idea of having one in any way or form, I'm just sharing my experience and the information I learned.

Firstly, the reason why I chose to get a vasectomy rather than asking my wife to get a tubal ligation while she was having her C Section was simple: male vasectomies are more reliable than female ones.

So now that I had made my mind up to get the snip, I asked the doctor we were seeing for our most recent pregnancy if she could recommend anyone, and she recommended Dr Dabouni also at MPH. I have actually had surgery with Dr Dabouni before, and so went to see him. I made the appointment and when it was my turn to see him, went into his office and sat down and told him I wanted a vasectomy.

"No problem! Would you like to do it tomorrow" is what he told me. Err, no I think I'll do it next week I said - I was ready but just wanted a little time to prepare for the procedure. He walked me through the procedure and advised me of what the costs would be. Essentially, I paid extra so I'd be under a general anesthetic (no way did I want to be awake if given the choice during the procedure!) - which as it happens is what they recommend anyway (anything for another buck I'm guessing). The procedure is very quick, less than half an hour. Basically they cut 2 small incisions either side of "the sack" and pull out the Vas Deferens and cut an inch out of each tube, then cauterize the open ends of the tubes and stitch it all up.

I was quoted RO 426 and paid it on the day of my first appointment. The next week I turned up at 7am for my procedure and was admitted to a ward and got settled into a room. I had to sign a form (as did my wife) acknowledging that I wanted the procedure and that it is not guaranteed to be reversible - and they need your wife to sign that too. Dr Keith the anesthetist came in to see me and put me at ease before the procedure. I have to say, he was great and put me at ease - I'd like to have thanked him in person but I never saw him after my operation unfourtauntely - apparently he was with me in recovery but I was out of it so can't remember!

I was wheeled to the operating theatre by two very capable nurses (and not the asshole who had played demolition derby with my wifes bed when she was being wheeled a few weeks before). Dr's Keith and Dabouni were waiting for me, and the last thing I remember was Keith saying, "So your a ten pint man I'm guessing"? To which I responded, this is where I count back from ten? He said yes, and the last number I remember was 8. A master at distraction that man is. And Keith if you are reading this - thank you!

I was wheeled back to my room a little over an hour later and left to recover (watch tv) for a few hours. I was given some lunch and then released and allowed to go home in the early afternoon. Now, my first (of only 2 really) gripe about the procedure was that I was quoted (and had already paid) RO 426 for the procedure (including a premium of about RO 50 for the general anesthetic). That's a lot of money, and you can imagine my surprise when I was being discharged I was told I had to pay an additional RO 124.681, bringing the total cost to RO 550.681. I am really annoyed about this, especially because RO 100 of the additional cost was for laboratory testing on the tubes that were cut out of me. When I challenged this I was told it was the only legal means to guarantee what had been removed from me was indeed the Vas Deferens. I still totally and utterly disagree with this because I have paid a hospital, and it's Dr's for a service, and I should bloody well hope they know what they're cutting out of me! But I had to pay the bill before they'd let me leave.

And so the cost for the procedure was RO 550.681. Then, a week or two later I had a follow up with Dr Dabouni to check on how things were healing (I walked like John Wayne for about a 10 days). Everything was healing well and he told me I needed to go back 2 weeks later (A month after the procedure) for a sperm count, and then another one a month after that. The tests cost RO 15 each (or there abouts) and I paid for them ahead of time. I was given two sample collection bottles and two forms - one for each test - and told to report directly to the laboratory in the basement (near the MRI/Ultrasound place) the day I submitted the sample.

Even at RO 550, I think thats a bargain compared to the cost of having another kid!

So on the 23rd of December (a little less than a month after I had my surgery) I sheepishly turned up at the reception of the lab in the basement and told them I was there to give a sample for testing. You see, sperm samples have to be fresh. Seeing as my house is a good 15 minute drive, and the sample must be no more than 30 minutes old at the time of testing, I knew I would be cutting it fine if I did the deed at home and then drove - any delays (traffic, parking, etc) and I'd have to do it again anyway.

So I was directed to a toilet, which was filthy, and had no toilet roll. A dirty room to do the dirty deed I guess - my second gripe. Some time later I had my sample in the altogether far too narrow sample bottle and the lid screwed on tightly back to the lady in the lab reception. Results would be ready in less than an hour they told me - but they couldn't give me the results, I had to get them from the doctors office - so I popped up and saw a nurse and she very kindly said she'd call me with the results later that day.

Which she did - confirming that I am now sterile. Shooting blanks, a Jaffa, etc etc.

Now, the procedure was relatively painless (afterwards is another story, but the pain wasn't too bad), very quick to  book and effective in less than a month. I'm just pissed I was quoted RO 426 and then stung another RO 125 the day of the operation, mostly so they could check what they had just cut out of me - which I fundamentally disagree with because a Dr should know what they are doing, just like I am expected to know what I'm doing in my job. But there we are.

RO 550, a month, and some John Wayne walking moments, et voila: no more kids.

le fin.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Had tears rolling down my face reading this. Very Bill Bryson - DG

Anonymous said...

Brilliant description! I'll pass this to my husband and have him book an appointment asap!

David Hunt said...

Had mine done 20 odd years ago. It's a sensible decision. Remember walking like John Wayne for a few days. Still don't feel any less of a man go saving my wife from major abdominal surgery.

Anonymous said...

A brave man indeed.
I do not even get a HAIR CUT in this country.

Anonymous said...

Pretty much the same experience as you a year ago except a) it was cheaper and b) I only had a local. No need for a general - I'm very well endowed (thanks mum and dad!) so the expression on the nurses' faces at the time of shaving was priceless :)

Anonymous said...

I had my vasectomy done in 1998 in NZ.
The best advice I received was:

Buy bags of frozen peas - and just keep them between your legs to numb the pain...you will need three as you will be swapping these every 30 minutes or so...worked a wonder!

Popular Posts